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UNDERSTANDING MISUNDERSTANDING March 9, 2007 God is really the only one who will never misunderstand you because He sees your heart. Everyone has a desire to be understood. No one wants to be misunderstood. But it’s going to happen. How do we react to it.
For those of us who are sick or disabled, life is completely different than it is for those around us who are not. Life is different for US than it used to be; WE are different than we used to be and we cannot do things we used to do. That’s a fact. Another fact is that people are not going to understand all that we are going through. In fact, most people don’t understand ANYTHING we are going through—unless they’ve experienced it themselves at one time or another.
And, here is another fact: unless we’ve been on the other side of it, WE are not going to understand THEM. Some of us have been caregivers as well as being the ones receiving care. I personally have been on both sides and, several of those times, I was on both sides at the SAME time. I know that a few of you are going through this now, either with a child or a parent, or a sibling or a dear friend.
And that leads to the next fact: unless people have been on both sides of it at the same time, they don’t know what THAT is like.
So, it’s safe to say that, if we are sick or caring for someone who is sick—or both—we are going to be living with misunderstanding MOST of the time and that’s not something anyone has prepared us for.
SO WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND NOT UNDERSTANDING.
WE CAN BE IN UNITY WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING. IN FACT, THAT’S WHAT TRUE UNITY IS ALL ABOUT.
BEING SICK IS NOT THE ONLY THING THAT BRINGS MISUNDERSTANDING OUR WAY. SOMETIMES, NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY TO BE NICE, KIND, PLEASANT, AND INOFFENSIVE, PEOPLE TAKE OFFENSE AT WHAT WE SAY AND DO ANYWAY. SOMETIMES, IT’S AN ATTACK OF THE ENEMY ON OUR LIVES.
Until we get to Heaven, none of us know it all or understand it all. We are all going to be tempted to judge others and we are going to be judged. How do we deal with it?
SCRIPTURALLY. THAT’S THE ONLY WAY.
1. WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER.
Lack of communication is one of the main causes of division in the Body. If we have a problem with a brother or sister, we need to go to them. If we know someone has a problem with us, we need to go to them.
2. WE NEED TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER
God’s love will overcome misunderstanding and disunity.
John 13:34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
God’s love will not allow us to live in hatred.
1 John 2:9Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. 10Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him[c] to make him stumble. 11But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.
Those who live in hatred do not know God. True Religion brings love not hatred!
True love will lead us to…
BELIEVE THE BEST OF EACH OTHER. NOT LISTEN TO GOSSIP. NOT SPREAD GOSSIP BE PATIENT BE LOYAL
1 Corinthians 13:4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
3. WE NEED TO FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER.
God commands it and that should be enough reason for any of us but sometimes we need a little extra push so here’s a good reason to forgive:
MATTHEW 6:14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
To live in forgiveness means to do all we can not only to forgive others but to ASK FOR FORGIVENESS—to do what is in our power to make sure that others don’t have cause to be angry with us:
MATTHEW 5:23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
And if a brother or sister in the Lord sins against us in a really grievous way and we have to deal with it-- here is how we handle it:
MATTHEW 18 15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[c] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
BUT—THERE ARE TIMES WHEN NO MATTER WHAT WE DO—THE OTHER PERSON WILL NOT FORGIVE US OR ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. WHEN THAT HAPPENS, WHAT DO WE DO? FORGIVE OF COURSE—AND GO ON WITH OUR LIVES. IF WE LET IT TAKE ROOT WITHIN US IT WILL DESTROY US.
HEBREWS 12:14Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many
THE AMPLIFIED VERSION SAYS IT LIKE THIS:
15Exercise foresight and be on the watch to look [after one another], to see that no one falls back from and fails to secure God's grace (His unmerited favor and spiritual blessing), in order that no root of resentment (rancor, bitterness, or hatred) shoots forth and causes trouble and bitter torment, and the many become contaminated and defiled by it--
4.WE CANNOT USE DIFFERENCES—WHETHER PERSONAL OR DOCTRINAL AS AN EXCUSE FOR DISREGARDING OR DISUNITY.
I encourage you to read all of Romans 14…but here is the crux of it:
Romans 14:9For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. 11It is written: " 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.' "[a] 12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
What we need to do is make room for all who believe and let them act according to their own faith. We must not judge them. And, we need to realize that there are things that do not matter at all to God, even though they matter a lot to us. These are the things we tend to fight about. God grieves over our division. He loves unity.
. WE NEED TO ASK GOD FOR REVELATION. Here are some scriptures to read later:
1 CORINTHIANS 3: 1And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. 2I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able. 3For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men? 1 CORINTHIANS 12:21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Galatians 5:19-21 (Amplified Bible) 19Now the doings (practices) of the flesh are clear (obvious): they are immorality, impurity, indecency, 20Idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill temper), selfishness, divisions (dissensions), party spirit (factions, sects with peculiar opinions, heresies), 21Envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you beforehand, just as I did previously, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 22But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, 23Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [[f]that can bring a charge]. 24And those who belong to Christ Jesus (the Messiah) have crucified the flesh (the godless human nature) with its passions and appetites and desires. 25If we live by the [Holy] Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. [If by the Holy Spirit [g]we have our life in God, let us go forward [h]walking in line, our conduct controlled by the Spirit.] 26Let us not become vainglorious and self-conceited, competitive and challenging and provoking
We expect fellow believers not to judge us, but we’re often disappointed. Of course, we also judge others and disappoint them. If we can only live our lives with mercy, we will be so much better off.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE TRY, WE CANNOT ALWAYS PREVENT OTHERS FROM JUDGING US—MISUNDERSTANDING US. BUT WE CAN PREVENT OURSELVES FROM JUDGING OTHERS. AND, IF WE DO JUDGE OTHERS WE CAN BE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT WE WILL BE JUDGED.
Matthew 7:1-2 DO NOT judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves. 2For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you.
LET GOD JUDGE—LET GOD VINDICATE—LET US LOVE, FORGIVE, AND BELIEVE THE BEST!!
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