Learning how to Pray with my children

By Rhonda Souder

When the girls were toddlers, I was concerned about how they processed my sickness and my tears. I hid my tears as best I could in the beginning, but with twins, after a while it was too hard.

Often, alone with them all day or for days when Tony was out of town, I thought and prayed "I don't know how to do this Father. There's no book on it, no manual, I know no one who had done this Lord. If you're going to leave me on earth to go through this, YOU have to show me how to do this?!" Of course God knew what he was doing, I knew that, but from a human point of view, these were words I needed to say out loud to him. I learned how to talk to him in yet a different way than I had earlier in my life.

That is when He gave me the thoughts and ideas of how to pray out loud in front of my toddlers whenever I was overwhelmed. "How do you pray about such things in front of babies?" I tried not to lose my self control in front of them---not to do anything to scare them, and God gave self control in front of them (so much grace!) Sometimes, when alone, I remember blowing the self control. I had never had trouble with this before my illness. I remember breaking a pot once or banging my head of the wall.

In front of the girls, I SLOWLY learned to allow some tears to release, and pray about whatever was at hand, no matter how small.

I got excited and praised God that, because of the suffering, they were learning how to handle life from a young age---how to walk with God and pray about everything! I had never heard my Mom pray anything out loud but "God is great, God is good" or "Now I lay me down to sleep."

"Wow" I thought, they get to hear "Jesus, help me today, show me what to do with (this or that). Give me wisdom with Abby and Bethany. Show us what to do with our time right now". I often struggled with the question:” is it ok to let them watch PBS while I lay down with an ice pack? They have already watched the TV for 2 hrs. Lord, this can't be good, show me”  or "...Show us what to make for dinner,"(struggling with idea of perfect meals or cut up apple and sandwich meat again) or ..."help Mom drive and show us what to buy in the store, because it's your Money."(when my head was splitting, I couldn't think, & needed supplies). "At least now," I thought, “my girls will get to SEE, how to walk with God, talk with Him and listen to Him every day." ..something I had never witnessed before! Everyday was an adventure with God, blow by blow, moment by moment....and it still is today.

Now, we're in transition of my letting go of their spiritual hands and allowing them to hold on to God's hand by themselves. Their minds are sharp, thinking, asking more questions.

 Emotions (hormone time) are overwhelming at times, so much that they cannot always be comforted by my words alone. I am thinking that they are needing "One on One" Gideon type experiences with God. (Gideon thought he heard God but he wasn't sure it was God. He tested God by laying out a fleece, and if it was wet, He knew it was from God.)

I'm excited about each phase of growth we go through together. I confess sometimes we just endure some parts of change. (struggles w/ 3 yr olds & emotions of teens).

rhonda
in TN

    GOD HAS GOOD

 PLANS

 FOR YOUR

FUTURE

know what I'm doing.

 I have it all planned out--

plans to take care of you,

 not abandon you,

plans to give you

the future you hope for.

   "When you call on me,

when you come

and pray to me,

 I'll listen.

Jeremiah 29:11

(Message Bible)