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TESTIMONY: Penni I grew up in Chattanooga, Tennessee with a precious Mom and Dad who loved us. I have one older sister and one younger brother. I am a middle child, and always felt left out. My sister seemed to always get my parents’ attention as I saw it, and my brother was the baby of the family. My Granny was a very precious lady; I would go spend time with her and loved her so. She always made me feel very secure in love and very special. I thank God for my Granny. She went to be with the Lord in 1993 and I MISS her everyday. When I was in High School, I met this guy named Mike. I never had a lot of dates like my sister did, so I was going to do all I could to make this guy like me. We soon began to date and I thought he really loved me. He would give me attention and that is all I wanted. We married in 1980 and started a life together. The first few years of our marriage were okay, but then he began to drink heavily and do drugs more and more. I thought the way to make him love me more was to party with him, drink, and do drugs but it really didn’t make a difference. He started beating me physically and also doing emotional abuse. My self-esteem sank lower and lower and I thought less and less of myself. I was working in a restaurant and a friend of mine invited me to church. I would tell her I would go but, then always found an excuse when it came time to go. My daughter Kristi was born on September 27, 1981. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. She always had a smile on her face or was laughing and I loved her so much. My husband loved her dearly and would take her places with him and, for about a year, he was actually doing pretty well. Then he began to go back to his old ways. I got pregnant again and had a beautiful little baby boy, named Michael on June 2, 1984. Michael was born early and his lungs were not developed. The Doctors and other people told me to prepare myself in case he did not make it, but I would in no way accept this. I did believe in God and I would pray. I finally went to church with my friend one night and, though I did not go down the aisle at church, I came home and accepted Jesus in my heart. My life began to change. My husband was okay with it until I was filled with the Holy Spirit. One night, he was so drunk that he pushed me off the bed when I was asleep and got down in my face and said, “I should kill you and no one would know”. I could actually see flames in his eyes. I was a baby Christian and did not know what to do except say, “ thank you, Jesus”. Well, all the sudden he got back up in bed and went to sleep. He was always so sorry. I went to talk to the preacher and he said, marriage is a covenant and I should pray for my husband and stay in the marriage. Well, I could not take much more, so I loaded up Kristi and Michael and went to visit my mom and dad who were in North Carolina. While I was there, I got a job. I thought to my self 'why am I doing this'? But, I went ahead and got the job anyway. I was going to church with my parents and, one night, there was a preacher that came. I stayed afterwards and talked to him, telling him a little bit about my life and he told me that God did not want me to live in that situation and, it did not matter if I got divorced tomorrow and got married the next day---I would not die and be in adultery and go to hell as the other preacher had told me. It was like God Himself was talking to me. Joy came up inside of me and I was FREE! I went back and divorced my husband; then Kristi, Michael, and I moved to North Carolina. Moving ahead in time---I married a wonderful, very precious man, Walt. He loved me so much, but it took me along time to completely trust him. However, the Lord helped me, and I love him so much. Walt had two girls when we married: Christy and Jennifer, and they were beautiful but, didn’t like me very much at first. However, today, we have a wonderful relationship; I claim them as my own. They have given us six very precious grandchildren. In 1998, I became disabled and, since then, I live in daily chronic pain. In addition to that, we lost our home because my Walt had to retire from his job due to job cut-downs. We didn’t realize what we were going to go through during the next years of our life. It has been a very long road. We lost our home and had to file for bankruptcy. I did not realize that, the more things that happened, the more bitter I became. I carried a lot of unforgiveness in my heart toward people for so many things that had happened. Walt and I have been blessed to be where we are today and I know the Lord is restoring to us all the things the enemy has taken away from us. Not too long ago, I read a story about a man who had died and come back to life; he was told that, because he had been in a big fight with his wife and would NOT forgive her, that he would have gone to HELL. Well, that impacted my life so much that the Holy Spirit began to work on me and, within the next three days, I forgave other people and myself. God has forgiven me. I am not the same person I used to be. I used to be bitter, unforgiving, and unloving but, now, I am so happy that Walt even noticed the difference. He said, "Honey, You are so happy. You are not fussy, mad, complaining—you’re not hurting like you usually do". I am happy to be forgiven and let me encourage you to walk in FORGIVENESS and LOVE. I am so happy to love Jesus---to have him in my heart and I know I am going to be completely healed. My life has had many ups and downs but, now that I truly have Jesus in my heart and serve him completely, God has led me to different people in my life and has given me friends that are such a blessing to me. They love me unconditionally. The pain I live with every day is sometimes unbearable. I cannot tell you why God has not totally healed me yet, but I know that, through my walk of pain and heartache, I have learned to trust God more and rely totally on him. I don’t know whether, if I had been healed back in 1998, I would have drawn this close to him. He is my total source. We are not promised a life of no problems when we follow Jesus. What we are promised is comfort for times when we cannot bear the pain, strength for each hour, peace like nothing you have ever seen, and joy and love to carry you through the day. I want to tell you that I am so proud of my children. Kristi married Jimmy on December 31st, 2005 and is now in Stamford, CT. Michael is to marry Jill on may 19th, 2006 and will be heading to Memphis TN, where they will be assistant coaches at a college. God blessed me with two wonderful, loving, caring kids. I also have a very precious husband Walt who, when we got married, brought Christy, who is married to Vince and gave us Cody-11, Jasmine -9 and Chase-4. He also brought me Jennifer, who is married to Chris. They gave us CJ and Ty-7 and Lanie-4. I am so blessed to have Christy and Jen in my lives; they have brought me so much JOY! I also have a little Westie. He is 9 months old and I love him dearly. I lost a puppy named Lancey, who was 3 yrs old. He died on march 20th, 2005 and I miss him every day. He took part of my heart with him. God blessed us with Bailey, who I love so much too, and who keeps me busy!! May the LORD bless your life completely; may he shine on you and send you comfort, peace, joy and his wonderful love--- in Jesus’s name!
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GOD HAS GOOD PLANS FOR YOUR FUTURE
know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out-- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen.
Jeremiah 29:11 (Message Bible) |
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