My name is Roma Campbell.  I am 59 years old.  I was born in Cleveland, Ohio.  I have 2 brothers, and I was the middle child.  Ours was a Christian home.  I came to know Jesus at the early age of 10. 

In all of my growing up years, the church was the focal point of my life.  I can recall my Sunday school teachers, and the special influence each of them had on my life.  I loved going to Bible School and church camp in the summer time.

I developed a love for singing.  I joined the junior choir when I was 12 years old.  I also joined the church.  I was rather timid as a child, but although unsure about

many things, I was sure that Jesus loved me, and that I loved Him.   My parents were very strict, but now that I am older and have children of my own, and a grandchild, I appreciate that fact.   I was given a rich spiritual heritage that many children today know nothing about.

After graduating from high school in 1965, I dated a young man, named Tom, who attended my church.  We married in 1966, and shortly afterwards, Tom was drafted into the army.  I moved back home with my parents because financially, I just couldn’t make it on my own.  When Tom came home, he had decided that he no longer wanted to be married.  So, after 4 ½ years of marriage, and a still born little girl, we got a divorce.  It seemed that my whole world was shattered.  I believed that marriage was to be a life long commitment.  I just couldn’t understand how all of this could be happening to me.

I got very depressed and let Satan tell me the lie that I was a big failure.  I believed that the divorce was my fault.  I believed that somehow I was responsible for the still birth of my daughter.  It was such a painful time in my life.  I should have been running to God, but instead I found myself running away from him.  How I must have grieved his heart.

This was my first attempt at running away, because of the fears that were within me.  I decided to move to Lansing, Michigan to live with my older brother and his wife.  They were not Christians, so I had no spiritual support in their home.  I never realized what a crucial mistake I could be making.  I quit going to church, and soon I found myself drifting away from God.  I began doing things that I knew nothing about and sin gradually crept into my life.  I had lost sight of the fact that God could forgive me, restore me, and set me free to serve him once again. 

I met a man who wanted me to marry him, but there was one major flaw that I could see.  I’m sure there were many more, but I was so blind.  Al was an alcoholic.  I told him that I could not marry him because I didn’t know how to deal with the alcoholism.  He went into a local hospital to dry out.  While he was there, we met a man who witnessed to us about Jesus.  Al was saved, and I recommitted my life to the Lord.  Now, I really thought we could make it.

Al and I were married in 1972.  We had our first son in 1973.  Five years later, in 1978, we had another son.  I had quit working to stay at home and raise our children.  We were very active in a local church and we attended regularly.  I taught Sunday school and became the children’s ministry director.  I also was still doing a lot of singing and became part of a trio.  I was asked to sing specials in church and also sang in the choir.  I was on the church board and was also the song director.  Looking back, no one person should ever carry that heavy of a load.   It tends to make others in the congregation sit back and do nothing because they think you’ll do it all.  I surely tried.

My husband and I began a bus ministry in our church with the pastors’ approval.  Al and I both worked side by side to see the bus ministry grow and be successful. Our efforts were not well received by the congregation, even though we did the work.  My husband became very offended and quit attending church with us.  The boys and I continued to attend church.

I remained faithful to the Lord and kept serving him in every capacity that I could find.  Now my marriage was beginning to crumble.  I didn’t realize that there was no balance between my church activities and my home life.  My commitment to the church was causing great harm to my marriage and my home.  I had no clue what was happening at that time.  I began to go through a stage of burnout for trying to perform so many jobs in the church.   I know now that performing was my way of finding acceptance as I felt that no one would like me for just being myself. 

My husband became very angry and verbally abusive.  We went to a psychiatrist for counseling for a couple of years.  It turned out that my husband suffered from post traumatic stress syndrome.  The professionals told me that he was what they would classify a ‘dry alcoholic’.   He demonstrated alcoholic behavior without drinking the alcohol.  I was beginning to believe that perhaps I could tolerate the alcohol better than the abuse that the children and I were suffering.

I wanted to leave and get myself and my children out of harms way, but my self confidence was gone.  My husband had convinced me that I would not be able 

to make it on my own

My husband became suicidal and very depressed.  He went into a six week Christian based treatment program.  When he came home, he was very eager to make the necessary changes.  He had been put on medication  but he chose not to take it.  Many changes were made, but they didn’t last. 

Eventually, after 20 years of marriage, we got a divorce.  Immediately after my husband left, he went back to the alcoholic life style and has not sobered up since.  He has a relationship with one of our sons, and not the other.   One likes to drink, and the other one is a Christian………..not hard to figure out.   He has no relationship with our granddaughter, who is six years old.  The parents don’t want her to be around that type of environment so they’ve severed ties with him. 

Next was my second episode of running away from life.  The children and I moved to Texas.  I had a brother there who said he and his wife would be happy to help us out.  We could stay with them temporarily till we found a place.   I suppose I hadn’t been through enough yet, now another home where Christ was not the center.  There was cursing, fighting, hatefulness on a regular basis.  I didn’t know what the situation was like until I thrust us right into the middle of it.  My brother and his wife and children had always let on that things were going so well in their home and family.  I had no idea what I would run into.

I was once again growing cold spiritually.  Now I found myself angry with God for the way my circumstances had turned out.  I didn’t realize that it was my choices that were affecting my life and that no one else was to blame.  I had walked away from God, and wasn’t sure this time if I could find my way back to him.  I wanted to fill the void in my life.  I looked for love in ‘all the wrong places’ and became severely depressed once again.  I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  Both of my sons moved back to Michigan, by their own choosing.  I found myself kicked out of my brothers' home and thought I was all alone.  I began to try and start my life over once again. 

It was then that I met Carl, my husband for 12 years now.  We were married in 1990.  Life is good once again, actually better than ever before with someone who really loves and cares for me.  We are best friends, and we enjoy serving the Lord together.  Carl went on disability 2 years ago with severe carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands.  Our income is the least we’ve ever had to live on, but God supplies our every need.  I am not able to work due to chronic illness.

My father passed away at the age of 79 suddenly in May of 1998.  I was very close to him.  I still to this day think of him every day and miss him so much.

However, I leaned hard on the Lord to get me through and he has. 

I began having physical symptoms in 2002 of fatigue, depression, and pain all over my body.  A rheumatologist diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia, and Auto Immune Disease.  It was also discovered that I have Osteoporosis, Diverticulosis, a B-12 deficiency, and Anemia.  I’ve also had a total left knee replacement and have degenerating discs in my back and Degenerative Arthritis.  I have Neuropathy in my hands and feet.  I have to use a cane to walk, as I can’t feel my left foot at times and I don’t want to fall.  At first, I was a bit embarrassed, but I think of it in the perspective of how I’ve learned to lean on Jesus.  

My mother was falling very often in her home in Ohio.  We decided to quit our job of owning an 18-wheeler and traveling the country.  We brought my mother to Texas to live with us.  I had asked God to please give me the opportunity to give back to my mother some of the loving care she had given me, if it was his will.  She had to be placed in a nursing home after four months, when I had to have knee replacement surgery.  Her health began to fail. My husband looked after her as if he was her own son.  We went to see her daily.

I wrote a lot of poetry and music during the time I was recuperating from the knee surgery.  I read a lot and got lots of inspiration from the Bible.  I also had much time to pray and talk to the Lord.  Carl and I began to sing at the nursing home where my mother was a resident.  My health was failing, but God helped me to keep going.  My mother passed away at age 85 in October, 2004.  We were at her bedside and I was singing to her as she went to be in her heavenly home with her previous Lord and Savior. I learned so much about the wonderful woman that I called Mother all of my life in those last few precious months of her life.  I have thanked God many times for the experience I gained during that time.  God wrapped his loving arms around me and helped me through the process of grieving once again. 

My husband and I decided to look further into my health issues.  I filed for disability in 2003.  After being denied and filing another claim, my hearing is scheduled for this month.  It’s been a long and hard 3 years of waiting.  I am on indigent care at a local clinic.  I’m on patient assistance programs to get the medications I need.   A year ago we moved from Texas to Arkansas.  Now I have a new doctor who is very knowledgeable and has put me on a much better regime of medication and they seem to be working as well as can be expected. 

My faith is stronger than it has ever been.  I’m no longer running away from my problems.  Instead, I run to God for comfort when I’m in pain or with any other need I have.  He supplies all of my needs.  I do live with chronic pain and illness daily.  I know that God is using my pain to shape me into the woman that he wants me to be.  I have learned to wait on his timing and that he doesn’t work on my time schedule.   I do believe that God can heal me and I pray for his healing touch daily.  However, I also believe that everyone doesn’t received healing in this life, some are healed once they leave this life and go to be with Jesus.

I am still able to write poetry.  I enjoy singing and crafts and encouraging others.

I am very blessed to have made many friends at the nursing home where my mother was a resident.  I write letters to many of them and send cards and poems as well.  My husband is a great source of help, encouragement and strength to me.  I am very fortunate to have found the right one this time.

I thank God for Carl daily.  God has blessed my life greatly.

I am finding my computer to be a source of reaching out to those who need prayer and encouragement.  I’m finding new friends who can identify with my pain.  I’m finding people who will lift me up when I am down and pray for me.

The support groups are a wonderful source of encouragement.  Many of my family and friends have turned away from a lack of understanding, but God replaces the void I feel with his love and his Word. 

I want more than ever to be used by God.  My desire is to be found faithful when Jesus returns for his children.  I can’t do many of the things that I once was able to do.  So, I try to stay focused on what I can do.  As I write poetry, I find that the words come from deep within my soul and, I believe, are God inspired.  Scriptures, songs and words in general have much more meaning than they ever have. 

My prayer for my life is:

Psalm 19:14     Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer.

GOD HAS GOOD PLANS

 FOR YOUR

FUTURE

know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you,

 not abandon you,

plans to give you

the future you

hope for.

   "When you call on me, when you come

and pray to me,

 I'll listen.

Jeremiah 29:11

(Message Bible)