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MIDWEEK STUDY by Kim Dillhoff June 27, 2007
This article is quite a bit different this week. God led me to share with you how I have grown in Him when a crisis comes into my life. As I was trying to decide how to share this story with you, God led me to Psalm 16. This is the English Standard Version. God, through David, said more than I could ever have said on my own. I am only sharing my own story of a decision to follow the only One who has truly given me refuge, goodness, full portion, a cup that runs over, security, joy, and salvation. Every other road has been partial and temporary at best. All three of my children have agreed to let me talk about their struggles in the hopes of helping someone else find their way to a new life…a New Birth.
I was awakened in the middle of the night to voices in the hallway…all I knew was that something was wrong.
“Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.”
Before I even knew what was happening I began to pray. I have learned to take refuge in God when I am feeling unsure and need guidance. I knew by the circumstances that this was not a normal problem; this could be a crisis unless I asked God to preserve me from becoming a problem within the problem, I needed to pray for wisdom and strength before I ever interjected myself into the situation.
“I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good, apart from you.”
I have learned that I have nothing, and am nothing without God. He is the only one I can turn to for answers. So in order to be there for my family, my children, especially in a crisis, I have to take the time to talk to God first before anything else.
“The
sorrows of those who run
after another god shall
multiply;
This is why I have learned to run to God first because I am a sinner first. I used to run to other “gods” first. I did not see them as other gods. But when I would be confronted with a crisis I would turn to crying and being upset and sometimes screaming and ultimately, causing more problems than the original crisis had caused in the first place. I would often turn to popular psychology in order to deal with problems. I learned that who or what I ran to, first thing, in a crisis IS my God. And when I was not turning to the true God, my Father in Heaven, my sorrows did increase.
“The
LORD is my chosen portion
and my cup; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
It would seem natural in such a situation that I should have been up and out of bed to see what was happening and make sure all was well in my little piece of the world. This makes sense to the world. But, since I began to pray right away, I was open to feel the hand of God on me, holding me back, telling me to pray and remain out of the picture. God holds my lot…He will take care of my family, I must follow Him in order to see what His plans are. My portion is what God gave me to do…this is true…my portion was to pray. But, the most wonderful part is that God gives His very self as my portion! (See Psalms 73:26).
If I rest in Him, my cup will overflow! (See Psalms 23:5) I already know that if I turn to other gods my sorrows will increase. I know that when I turn to God right away in a crisis, I become calmer and I tend not to cause more problems than already exist. God knows my family better than any person or self-help book. So therefore, the only choice I can see is to run to Jesus, I want to believe in the promises of God and run to Him for everything. I do have a beautiful inheritance. I have salvation. I will be with the Lord forever!
“I bless the LORD who gives
me counsel;
I do praise God. He did instruct me, even in the night, even when I was not awake enough to understand what was going on. He instructed me, not with words but in my heart, or in my ‘gut’. The Hebrew word used here is kidneys, which I take to mean that feeling in your ‘gut’ that intuition that says something to you without words. My husband handled things very well. My son was extremely repentant, and my involvement at that time may have caused tempers to flair and God’s love to be squelched where it needed to flourish at that moment. It turned out that my son had made one very bad decision. He had broken all kinds of rules, by that one bad decision. He had endangered himself and others.
My son is a Christian. He gave his heart to Jesus last summer. I talked to him calmly the next morning…I was not shaken. I knew that God was in control. I knew that I didn’t need to get lost in the emotions of past experiences. My oldest son had been mixed up in alcohol and drugs for several years, beginning in his teen years. He is now doing very well. I, also, was raised in an alcoholic home. My father, by God’s grace, was sober for the last 28 years of his life. So to have an upheaval in the middle of the night can bring many demons to the surface for me. I have, in the past, had a difficult time with my emotions when it came to these kinds of crises. But, over these years of following Jesus, I have learned to “set the Lord always before me.” I am not saying I always succeed. I am always learning. It is impossible for anyone else to have the best interest of me and my family always in their heart. But, “Jesus replied, ‘What is impossible with men is possible with God.’ Luke 18:27
“Therefore my heart is glad,
and my whole being
rejoices;
I am rejoicing. I am rejoicing because since I did turn to God and listened to Him first, I was able to respond in the way that He led, instead of being led by my initial emotions. My heart is glad. My son is truly repentant. We have time to spend together, which is a mixed blessing, as those of you with teenagers know. But, because his sister is chronically ill and he is very busy, we don’t get a lot of time to talk. So this will be a time for us to get to know each other all over again. My flesh really does feel more secure, too. If God can provide for emotional well being in an emotionally charged situation, how much more can he provide for whatever we need. And then the Psalm reminds us that not only our flesh is secure now, but our very souls are safe for eternity. The Psalms are in the Old Testament, but still speak of Christ. We are saved from corruption by accepting God’s will, accepting all of God. That includes accepting the Him that is His Son.
”You make known to me the
path of life; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
I understand more deeply, every time I am obedient to the will of God that He will provide for me and my family, even in a crisis. Every time I turn to God I learn that when I follow Him most completely I find my greatest Joy and Peace. God will help me through all I have to go through. The best gift of all is that by accepting God’s will for my life means that just being in His presence will bring me pleasure forevermore!
************************************************************** A couple of notes here, if your spouse is not supportive or does not believe in prayer, God will give you the strength and blessing that you need to take care of your chronically ill child. If you are a single parent, you have a very difficult job. God will also bless you with what you need. Please write to me, if you can or find support. I pray that you will press into Jesus and let Him carry you and your child. If you need to have a personal relationship with Jesus, please follow this link http://www.hopeontheinside.org/getwithgod.html If you are not sure, I want to encourage you to find freedom, rest, salvation, wisdom and love. These things are freely given by God, if you will only freely accept Him…His Son. These are tools that I could not have lived without in raising my children. I pray that you will tap into these incredible gifts for parenting that God has to offer you. But, first you must receive. **************************************************************** If you feel overwhelmed and need some support please write to the email address below or go to the Forum on this site. If you are raising a chronically ill child, please send me an email at findingtruejoy@yahoo.com and tell me a little about yourself, including your age and the age(s) of your children, if you don’t mind, so that I can know more about you. **************************************************************** Kim Dillhoff lives outside of Portland, OR with her (supportive) husband of 22 years and two children, still at home. Alex (16) and Katie (13).[here is the link to Katie’s poems that she wrote awhile ago and allowed Hope on the Inside to print. http://www.hopeontheinside.org/KATIESKORNER.html.] Kim, also has a son, Rob (25) who lives near her. Kim and Katie both suffer from Fibromyalgia (FM) and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). Kim also suffers from Myofacial Pain Syndrome (MPS). She was diagnosed in 2000. Kim has been a Christian most of her life. But has followed Jesus’ teachings much more closely, in order to have a personal relationship since 2002. She feels blessed that God has set her in a family by blood and of Christian sisters who support her, and her family, with prayer and love.
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