|
MIDWEEK STUDY June 13, 2007
by Kim Dillhoff
“Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’ “ --Matthew 19:14
It is so important that we teach our children to turn to Jesus, in all circumstances. And, we, as a chronically ill parent, can model turning to Jesus, for everything, better than anyone else.
In a blog by Dr. John Piper, which I received while preparing this article, titled Marriage is Meant for Making Children…Disciples of Jesus, he stated that, “The most fundamental task of a mother and father is to show God to the children.Children know their parents before they know God. This is a huge responsibility and should cause every parent to be desperate for God-like transformation.”
I agree with Dr. Piper, we must show our children God through ourselves, as their first feelings of love and security come from us. This is such a difficult task, raising a chronically ill child. I argue that if we give our children Jesus, we not only give them the eternal gift of salvation, but we will make our chronically ill children more independent, making our lives easier in the long run.
When I was listening to Shoshana’s message Why? Because all Things Working Together, http://www.hopeontheinside.org/SUNDAYSERVICE%20why-allthings.html I was struck, at the time, by Genesis 37: 18-19:
“And when they saw him far off, even before he came near to him, they conspired to kill him. And they said one to another, See, here comes this dreamer and master of dreams.”
This scripture is speaking of Joseph’s brothers and their plans for him. This is, often, how it feels with chronic illness. Especially, it has for me, raising a chronically ill child. People, even well meaning people, don’t always understand why we make the decisions we make. They don’t understand what we have already tried and what the Holy Spirit has spoken to me. It feels as if, they are far off, making judgments that I cannot even defend, because they will not confront me directly. It feels as if they have already come to conclusions (conspired) without even attempting to come to me. Most people, who are making judgments about me and my child, have no concept of my Father’s plans for my life or my daughter’s life. Because of their lack of faith or misunderstandings they have called me a dreamer. But, I know that I am not a dreamer, I have God’s Word that I will not come to harm. I know that God has plans to prosper me, plans for a hope and a future. (See Jeremiah 29:11).
Just last week my daughter was upset due to the opinion of her tutor. Mrs. W had made some comments about her being alone too much, that Katie did not appreciate. Especially, since Mrs. W does not understand the nature of her illness and is not in our home and involved in our decisions. I admit that I was quite angry when I found out that these comments had been made when I was not around.
Katie and I talked. We prayed. We talked about the fact that in all of her life this one tutor’s (she has had three) opinion matters about as much as a drop of water in the ocean. We talked about the fact that we know what is best for her, for us.
Sometimes, other people don’t understand that we need more time to rest and have quiet time and we cannot always make them understand. We came to the conclusion that, in this case, because the opinion mattered so little that it wasn’t even worth our anger.
There are many times that we have to stand up for and be strong for our ill child. I have confronted some misguided parents, doctors and educators, who took it upon themselves to discuss family decisions, inappropriately, with my daughter.
Pray about boundaries. Do not be afraid to confront someone who is hurting your child. Explain to them that if they have a problem or concern with the way that things are being handled in your home, to speak to you and not to your child. You know your child. You and, hopefully, your spouse make the decisions, with God.* Your child should not have to defend these decisions to an adult… this is your job, if it is necessary at all. I have counseled my daughter when confronted with something that she feels uncomfortable with to respond with, “I don’t know, you will have to talk to my mom.” Let your child know that no matter how sick you are, that to the best of your ability, you will protect them. They shouldn’t feel like they have to protect you.
The most important point to remember, is to turn to Jesus for guidance.
Shoshana said in her Sunday Message (June 10, 2007) ”He [God] said to me, ‘You also cannot judge yourself on your emotions. You DID NOT act on them—you overcame them.’ WHAT A REVELATION!” So, when we are confronted with people who don’t understand, for whatever reason, we can turn to Jesus and prayer. Ask for guidance and act upon that guidance, not on how you feel. When we do this, we teach our child to do the same. They need to know that Jesus won’t make everything easy, but He loves them and will help them through any trials and tribulations. He has great plans for their lives.
Show them the Joy you have found in Christ. It is a gift you can give, even in your chronic illness. It is, by far, the best gift you can ever give them.
“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” --Psalms 62:5-8
*A couple of notes here. If your spouse is not supportive or does not believe in prayer, God will give you the strength and blessing that you need to take care of your child. If you are a single parent, you have a very difficult job. God will also bless you with what you need. Please write to me, if you can or find support. I pray that you will press into Jesus and let Him carry you and your child.
If you need to have a personal relationship with Jesus, please follow this link http://www.hopeontheinside.org/getwithgod.html If you are not sure, I want to encourage you to find freedom, rest, salvation, wisdom and love. These things are freely given by God, if you will only freely accept Him…His Son. These are tools that I could not have lived without in raising my children. I pray that you will tap into these incredible gifts for parenting that God has to offer you. But, first you must receive.
If you feel overwhelmed and need some support please write to the email address below or go to the Forum on this site.
If you are raising a chronically ill child, please send me an email at findingtruejoy@yahoo.com And tell me a little about yourself, including your age and the age(s) of your children, if you don’t mind, so that I can know more about you.
Kim Dillhoff lives outside of Portland, OR with her (supportive) husband of 22 years and two children, still at home. Alex (16) and Katie (13).[here is the link to Katie’s poems that she wrote awhile ago and allowed Hope on the Inside to print. http://www.hopeontheinside.org/KATIESKORNER.html.] Kim, also has a son, Rob (25) who lives near her. Kim and Katie both suffer from Fibromyalgia (FM) and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). Kim also suffers from Myofacial Pain Syndrome (MPS). She was diagnosed in 2000. Kim has been a Christian most of her life. But has followed Jesus’ teachings much more closely, in order to have a personal relationship since 2002. She feels blessed that God has set her in a family by blood and of Christian sisters who support her, and her family, with prayer and love.
|
